Pocket Change
by the Sin Hunter Alchemist
Summary: In which Kakashi needs a new mask, Iruka needs an escape plan, and the ninja of the mission’s room need a life. Sequel to Pieces.
1. Near Misses All Over

AN: Yay! The sequel to Pieces! A whole 8 hours later! (Both in real time and in the story!) Just to warn you, the story title might change. Hope you enjoy. I'm going to attempt to bring in more characters in this story. If you have any requests for cameos, post it in a review. And a shout out to siriuscanid who reviewed every chapter of Pieces! Much love! I appreciate it.

Just a recap on my review policy. The more reviews I get, the sooner I post a new chapter. Seriously, I hold out for more reviews if I feel I can get more. So, if you can't wait for the next chapter, review and it will get there sooner (also, you can make requests and suggestions for scenes you might want to see. at this point, I'm just writing and I don't really have a plot anymore, but none of you seem to care so...)

* * *

_In which Kakashi needs a new mask, Iruka needs an escape plan, and the ninja of the mission's room need a life._

* * *

"I think I'm in love."

Ibiki snorted but otherwise ignored the jounin perch on his desk.

"C-rank. The Hokage is allowing you to choose your own team. Report the team to one of his ANBU guards by sundown," he grunted to a chuunin.

The young woman beamed. It was her first mission as a squad leader and she didn't care that it was a C-rank. It just meant she'd be more able to prove her Hokage that she deserved this position.

Kakashi grimaced at the scroll as it was passed from the special jounin to the chuunin. The mission was most likely to baby sit the brat of some dignitary.

"You know she's pregnant, right?" the Copy Nin drawled, his visible eye following the woman out of the room.

"That's why her mission is to baby-sit some dignitary's brat," Ibiki responded as if it were obvious.

Kakashi blinked and smiled brightly. He loved it when he did that.

Ibiki just gave him a weird look before handing a genin cell squad leader a D-rank mission - probably having to do with weeding a giant plot of land that wouldn't be used for the next year and a half anyway.

"His team's not going to cut it this year, is it?" Kakashi prodded.

Ibiki gave him another weird look but didn't give away the conditions of this mission. Damn. His record was five in a row. Not that anyone would believe him.

Except Gai, but Kakashi was trying to avoid even thinking his fellow jounin's name. It had this weird habit of summoning him and Kakashi didn't need that now.

He did need Ibiki to stop ignoring him though.

"Why're you on mission desk duty anyway?"

"You know why," Ibiki growled, tearing a mission report from the unfortunate hands of another chuunin. Poor man had some pretty nasty paper cuts if the blood stains on the side of the paper was anything to go by.

He did know why. The bandages would still get blood stained after a few hours, after all. Kakashi briefly wondered if Ibiki would start donning a bandana instead of the normal headband or display his new cork screw scars for the world to see.

He'd have to finish shaving the rest of his hair off, of course, or he'd be laughed off the battlefield…

"Yea, but if you have desk duty you have to council love sick jounin," Kakashi huffed. "And you're not doing that, so you obviously shouldn't be on desk duty."

Ibiki rolled his eyes but relented.

"In love, huh?"

"Yep!"

Kakashi's happy crescent was back as he practically beamed at the older man.

"With?"

Silver hair flopped about as Kakashi shook his head rapidly.

"Can't tell you, you'd just make fun."

The head of torture and investigations would have rolled his eyes again if that hadn't been the answer he was expecting.

"She or a he?" he asked, sure that some prodding would placate the jounin.

"He."

This time there was no practically about it; Kakashi positively beamed at Ibiki.

"And I don't get to know his name."

"Well, I _can_ tell you that he's no fish surfing the waves."

Ibiki's blank look was almost instantly replaced by a look of understanding.

"Umino? You're in love with Umino?"

He wasn't sure if the word happy could be applied to a nod, but Kakashi came damn close.

"And how long have you known Umino?"

This finally made Kakashi frown.

"Well, _technically_, I've known him for…" Hmm, the number of hours wouldn't go over well in Ibiki's book, change tactics, "since yesterday afternoon."

If the face Ibiki was making was anything to go by, a description of the time didn't go over well either.

"You're in love with a baby chuunin after having known him for less than twenty-four hours?"

Kakashi was about to shrug but decided to humor the man and think it over.

"Well," he finally relented, "I suppose _love_ isn't quite the right word."

"So what is?"

"Obsessed with teasing him in new and provocative ways until he snaps and kills one of his little chuunin friends?"

Ibiki rolled his eyes this time.

"That's a crush, dumbass."

"Huh." Kakashi tilted his head and gazed at a genin thoughtfully. The genin, catching his eye, shrunk back against his jounin teacher, who shot Kakashi a dirty look and pushed her team out of the mission's room before returning. "Have I ever had a crush before?"

"How the hell should I know? If you want to know about your love life, go as G-agh!"

The mission's room got very quiet then. Ibiki was glaring death at Kakashi, whose one visible eye was wide in horror.

Everyone else was staring at the scroll that had been shoved into Ibiki's mouth.

It only lasted a few seconds, really, but no one would ever forget seeing the legendary Copy Nin shove an entire mission's scroll into the head of torture and investigations' mouth. The jounin teacher was sorry she just shooed her genin away. They would have loved this.

"What the HELL, HATAKE?!"

"_You can't say his name_," Kakashi hissed, eye darting around to make sure that the Green Beast wasn't lurking in the crowd. "He always knows and I am _not_ discussing this with him!"

"MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

With a strangled groan, Kakashi disappeared into a cloud of smoke and leaves.

Hands down, best justu _ever_.

Unfortunately, Gai had this uncanny ability of being able to follow Kakashi _everywhere_.

"Beloved Rival, the flower of your heart is in bloom! You must accept that this is the-"

He was cut off as Kakashi stopped his mad dashing across the rooftops and rounded on him.

"I swear, Gai, if you say Springtime of my Youth, I will set those precious eyebrows of yours _on fire_."

Gai seemed unfazed by this.

"So you've accepted this! We must find your suitor! The dating process is a fickle thing and…"

Kakashi groaned and prepared himself for a long, awful lecture.

Iruka, accompanied by Anko and Genma, walked into the mission's room to be met with excited whispers. He'd been in the room a couple hundred times before, but only a few times had it been in such a muted uproar.

Even more odd than that was the presence of Ibiki Morino sitting behind one of the mission's desks.

"Hey! Morino!"

Genma winced at Anko's shout, but Iruka was more interested in the way Ibiki was staring at him.

The boys let themselves be pulled toward the desk; infuriating Anko, _not _a good idea (especially for Genma, who was still bruised from when Anko found him with her underwear in his back pocket).

"What the hell's going on here?"

Ibiki turned to Anko - though Iruka noticed the nin's eyes dart to him occasionally - and snorted.

"You know jounin, always have to cause a scene."

"Yea, yea, but which one? And what'd he do?"

Dark eyes fell on Iruka once again, but only for a second.

"You know Hatake? Just him shoving something someplace were it ain't meant to be."

A year before, Iruke would have worn his shock very clearly across his face. This year, a chuunin with more control over his emotions, he was able to keep the surprise in his hardly-at-all-audible squeak. Fortunately, Anko let out a terrifying laugh at the same time.

The grin on Anko's face spelled out just what she was thinking. If her opening mouth was any indication, she was about to voice those thoughts.

Luckily for everyone in earshot, Genma didn't want to hear it.

"Hey, we were told that we had a mission we needed to do?"

Ibiki gave him a look as if sizing him up before nodding toward a ruined scroll. It was bent in the middle and for some reason wet… What the hell could do that to a scrool?

"That'd be the one. Looks like you guys get off lucky today. Congratulations."

"Hot damn!" Anko exclaimed, punching Genma in the back in her excitement. "Day off!"

"Damn it woman!" Genma cried, shoving Anko towards Iruka. "Just _stop_ hitting me already!"

Iruka smiled sheepishly for his teammates behavior and was about to excuse them when Ibiki grabbed his wrist.

Wide, chocolate brown eyes stared at the other's hand before following the appendage up to Ibiki's face.

"Is there something I can help you with, Morino?"

"You're Iruka Umino, yea? Just passed the chuunin exam last month?"

Iruka nodded, knowing it wasn't necessary. Ibiki Morino knew the face of every ninja in Konoha, whether he'd spoken to them before or not.

"You're a little old to have _just _passed the chuunin exam, aren't you? The normal age is thirteen. You have to be at least fifteen."

Iruka bristled at this.

"I'll have you know, Morino, that I am in fact sixteen-years-old," Iruka said, his voice sounding far too polite considering the words but taking on a biting edge. Someday, this would be the voice he used for a student that had just crossed the line. For now it'd have to settle to be used on special jounin. "While that may not be up to _your_ standards, I am quite capable for _my _rank. Now, if you would excuse us, Anko, Genma, and I will be heading off to lunch."

With that, Iruka spun on his heel and marched out of the room. Genma shot Ibiki a startled look before following, dragging Anko who was immobilized by her own laughter.

Ibiki snorted, rather amused. So the baby chuunin had a bit of ire to him. And he didn't miss that slight about the ranks. That boy had balls if he thought it a good idea to put Ibiki Morino down for not quite making jounin.

Maybe Kakashi wasn't so weird for this one. After all, with a temper like that, Iruka _might_ snap enough to kill one of his chuunin friends.


	2. Avoidance of the Finest Caliber

AN: I just want to clear up another reviewer's concern. Someone brought up the fact that Ibiki too was 16 when he passed his chuunin exam (well, technically he was 15, but I get your point). And I realized that with having so many fact savy readers, I might come across these sorts of reviews fairly often. So, general rule, most jounin (and special jounin) will be less than truthful. Ibiki said what he did to test Iruka. He's a ninja, that's just what he does, you know?

Also, since we know absolutely nothing about Iruka's genin team, I've taken it upon myself to give him one. It will all make sense soon enough. If you still want to ask, you can, but I'm not answering any questions about said topic outside of the story. Just hang in there (two more chapters, I think...)

However, general facts I will release. For instance, someone asked how old Kakashi was in my story. I believe I've established Iruka's age already, but at the bottom of the chapter, I will place a list of characters ages (this is their actual age in relation to the year base that I'm using - in other words, Kishimoto would give you the same age list for this story if he were writing it.... *Sigh* if only....)

* * *

Lunch with his teammates was always an event. Anko, today, seemed determined to make Genma stab her with his chopsticks. Genma, in turn, decided that Iruka was the one who had to pay for Anko's misdeeds and wouldn't stop flicking rice into his hair.

Iruka, of course, couldn't see his own ponytail, so he had no idea if he'd gotten all of it. So he continued eating.

And it was a _complete_ accident when his ice water emptied itself right over Genma's crotch.

"What the hell!?"

"Genma! I'm so sorry! I have no idea what happened!"

Iruka's words sounded sincere but his lips wouldn't stop twitching. It was obvious he wanted to smile.

Anko, ever the helpful teammate, went to work helping Genma dry up, much to his dismay.

"STOP IT!"

"But you're wet, Genma! If you leave like that, everyone will think that you wet _yourself_."

"I don't need your hands in my crotch, Anko! Back the hell off!"

She relented, snickering, but only because she had been doing it to mess with him in the first place.

"Okay, that's it you three."

Iruka looked up to be met with the very angry face of the restaurant owner. Beside him, Genma stuffed the rest of his chicken into his mouth, already knowing what was coming. After all, lunch was _always_ an event.

"Go on, get out of here."

They filed out of the restaurant, Anko having to run back in to leave a small pile of money on the table after some not-so-gentle prodding from her teammates.

"I don't see why we have to pay if he kicks us out anyway. I mean, I wasn't even half done yet!"

"Because, Anko," Genma said in a bored voice. They had this discussion almost once a week. "If we don't pay this time, we won't even be able to get in next time. And we're seriously running low on variety after your stunt at the steak house."

"Besides," Iruka cut in. "It was your turn to pay."

Anko probably would have cuffed him at that, if Iruka had been there. As it was, Iruka had suddenly vanished.

"Where did he-" Genma started to ask, but cut himself off as Iruka's spot was taken by a tall man dressed from head to toe in green.

Except for his leg warmers. They were orange. Genma found himself fixated on them as the man turned to them. Anko didn't notice these, however, as she was busy glaring at his shiny, black bowl cut.

"Ah, chuunin!" the man exclaimed. He swept his arms out in a gesture neither of them understood before letting his (very large) hands fall heavily onto their shoulders. "Tell me, my fellow Konoha nin, have you seen my eternal rival, the legendary Kakashi Hatake? We were discussing the finer points of romance upon a roof top when he was overcome with some sort of longing and swept down into this street."

Anko and Genma - finally able to tear their eyes from his hair and legwarmers respectively - looked at each other for a spilt second before pointing towards the restaurant they just left.

"He went in there," Anko explained, staring at the man as if she didn't quite understand the situation. She probably didn't.

"Ah! My deepest gratitude is extended to you, fine chuunin!"

He threw them a smile and thumbs up before running into the restaurant. Genma twitched before dragging Anko into an alley near by.

"What was that about?"

He waved a hand at her, looking around the alley.

"Iruka!" he called, squinting at a shadow under an overhang. "You back here?"

The shadow shifted and disappeared, reappearing as a person in front of the chuunin.

"Ah, not quite," Kakashi said, scratching his chin and smiling brightly at the two. "He _was_ back here, but when I swung down he bolted. Thanks for misleading Gai for me. I've been trying to ditch him for the past twenty minutes."

Genma leaned back and nodded at the man. He'd heard about what happened at the training ground - once from Anko and then again from Iruka. He was sure neither of them were telling the full truth as Iruka claimed that Kakashi just stopped by to give him his broken mask and Anko claimed that Kakashi had, well, made Iruka a man right then and there, if you catch the drift.

Anko was always the less subtle one.

"You can't take that!" she screeched, startling them both and tossing an arm around Kakashi's neck so she could pull him close. He allowed it to happen - if she tried anything, he could be gone in the drop of a hat. And she might give him just enough insight to really be able to mess with his new favorite chuunin.

"If you have Iruka running when he sees you, you need to deal with that immediately," she explained, motioning Genma to come closer.

"Nuh uh, I'm not going to play a part in this. You want to set Iruka up with some weird dude, you do that on your own time. I don't want to be there when the shit hits the fan."

With that, he left the alley, contemplating if he should warn Iruka of his teammate's betrayal or not.

Nah. He wouldn't help, but it'd be fun to watch from a distance.

* * *

"Forget about him," Anko said, turning back to the curiously staring Kakashi. "If you want to get Iruka _not _mad…"

* * *

Iruka, in the mean time, was sitting on a roof three streets over and two streets up from where he'd left his teammates - and hopefully Kakashi Hatake - behind.

He'd been on the look out for the man since Ibiki had mentioned him. Now that he'd met the Copy Nin, he didn't fancy re-meeting him.

Not after last night.

Last night had been the most terrifying night of his life (aside from the Nine-Tails attack, but he hadn't been _directly_ involved in that, so he wasn't counting it now).

He'd been kissed. By Sharingan Kakashi Hatake, the Legendary Copy Nin. It seemed unreal. He'd thought that maybe it had all been one crazy, chuunin-task-induced-stress related dream.

Then he had woken up and found a small shard of Kakashi's mask on his living room floor.

That meant that everything had been real. That meant that he'd broken the Copy Nin's mask and that they'd had a rather heated kiss at the training grounds. Kakashi had teased him, Iruka had gotten angry, and Kakashi had…

_He'd basically sexually assaulted me_, Iruka thought dryly.

It had caused some interesting dreams, to say the least.

Iruka was mature enough to admit that he was attracted to the man. He'd come to terms with his sexuality years before (with the help of some sake and a few well placed jibes from Izumo) and wasn't surprised in the least about his reactions.

Okay, well, he'd been surprised about the whole trying to steal Kakashi's bottom lip thing. He hadn't realized he could be playful or aggressive or anything like that.

Well, live and learn.

Now he was sitting on a rooftop and waiting for a familiar chakra signature to go by. Maybe two, but Iruka was positive Anko would get distracted without him there to mediate between the pair.

"What are you doing up here?"

Iruka turned around, a grin on his face.

"Hayate! Did you just get back?"

The other chuunin nodded, dropping down beside Iruka on the rooftop.

"I was just heading down to the mission's office to turn in my report. Damn report was half the mission."

Iruka sympathized. Hayate had been on a recon mission for the past four weeks. The records room was full of small tomes that were really the reports from recons and as the Third had sent him alone because of the low danger level, Hayate had to write the whole thing himself.

Suddenly, Iruka realized something. Hayate had been gone four weeks. Which meant he didn't know…

"Hayate!" Iruka exclaimed, startling his fourth teammate. "I made chuunin!"

"What?" Dark eyes blinked owlishly at him.

"I made chuunin! Remember? The exams had just started when you were sent off?"

"Oh, right."

Iruka waited patiently as Hayate processed this information. The boy was generally rather intelligent, but he _had_ just gotten off a nearly month long mission (and the shadows under his eyes looked darker than usual).

"Oh! Congratulations Iruka! Knew you could do it," Hayate finally supplied, grinning weakly.

His only response was a snort.

"Again, what are you doing up here?" asked Hayate.

Iruka shot him a sheepish grin.

"Would you believe that I'm afraid of being molested by the Legendary Copy Nin and decided to hide up here and wait for Genma?"

If Hayate was surprised, he didn't show it. He never did, really, but Genma had nearly killed Anko (by accident, of course) when she told her version of the Training Ground Fiasco. But that was a story for another day.

Now, Hayate just cocked his head and stared at Iruka.

"Yea, okay. He going to take long?"

"No longer than you took getting home, brat," Genma chimed in. They had to tilt their heads back to see him as he was standing behind them (and leaning over them to try and appear more threatening, as he often tried).

"No, I don't think he'll take too long," Iruka replied cheerfully, turning back to Hayate.

The three sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Genma broke it.

"So… molested?"

"Not talking about it," Iruka said tersely.

"But, Iruka, it makes it easier to deal with if you talk about it," Hayate replied. It would have been the sort of thing Iruka responded to, had Hayate not tried to sound as patronizing as possible.

"I'm not talking about it, bastards."

Hayate shrugged, but Genma suddenly took on a serious face.

"Iruka, Anko had said that Kakashi was going over to your place? Later last night? Did something happen?"

"What that hell would have happened, Genma?!" the younger man exclaimed, turning to face his teammate.

With all the seriousness he possessed, Genma met Iruka's eyes in a hard stare and said, "He didn't steal your virtue, did he?"

Calling what Iruka did next twitching wouldn't really do justice to the full extent of movement throughout his muscles. If anything, it was closer to a full body spasm than anything.

"You guys are assholes," he ground out before pushing himself off the edge of the roof.

His teammates didn't bother following him.

* * *

AN: And now for your comprehensive age list. I'll post this at the end of chapters after so many new characters have been introduced. Well, I'll post the new characters' ages, at least (and by new, I mean Naruto characters I haven't used yet). By the way, I'm taking requests for cameos still, so if anyone wants to see their fav character, just ask and I'll consider it.

All events in this story happened seven years prior to the events in the beginning of Naruto.

Iruka- 16

Kakashi- 19 or 20 (I haven't decided the time of year, but I'm leaning towards 20)

Gai- same as Kakashi (so... 20)

Hayate- 16

Anko- 17

Genma- 23

Ibiki- 21

Kotetsu & Izumo (I figure they'll be in here eventually)- 18


	3. Escaping With the Casualty

AN: Hey guys! icantremembersn pointed something out that's worth mentioning. I'm using Iruka's age as listed in fan book two as it is both the newest source of such information and, frankly, it fits better with my story. So, while you were correct, friendly reviewer, technically so was I. Yay! Everyone wins!

Oh, and much love to lucca-ace, whoever you are. You're the only one to comment on my blog and you've given me hope for the stories I've posted there.

And so so so sorry for the late post. I've been having trouble with this fandom. You can say that we've drifted apart. But no worries, we've since reconciled. I just need to find a plot and this will be updated far sooner.

* * *

Iruka was only mad at Genma for the short time it took to land on the street below. But he had to stick to his resolve. What sort of man stormed off in a huff - not a huff, damn it! Stormed off in a rage! What sort of man stormed off in a rage and came back to hang out some more half a minute later?

Besides, he could hear them laughing up above and he didn't need that right now.

Instead, he decided to head for the training field his team frequented. He hadn't gotten any training in yesterday and the whole mission thing had fallen through, so he might as well train now.

Decision made, he stepped onto the training field.

That was when one Kakashi Hatake fell out of a tree only to sprawl on top of him.

"Hey there Iruka," the man drawled.

"A kunai is digging into my thigh," Iruka said dryly.

"That's not a kunai," Kakashi replied, single visible eye curved into a happy crescent.

"It better be a kunai or one of _my _kunai will be digging into _your _thigh."

"Sounds exciting," Kakashi quipped back, but he stood up and held a hand out to Iruka.

The chuunin stared at the hand suspiciously, but ended up taking it.

This turned out to be a mistake as he was pulled flush against Kakashi.

There was a long moment in which neither did anything. Kakashi seemed perfectly content to just stand there with the chuunin pressed against him and Iruka was contemplating when the jounin's other hand - the first still holding his own and pressed between their chests - had moved to his lower back.

"What are you doing, Kakashi?" Iruka finally asked, a hard edge to his tone.

"What do you mean?" the Copy Nin asked, somehow looking genuinely curious.

"Why are you holding me?"

There was barely veiled malice in that question.

The older ninja's eye curved into a happy little arch.

"You looked like you could do with being held," he replied cheerfully.

Iruka wasn't sure how to handle that. He looked like he could do with being held?

Apparently, the question showed on his face.

"Like how you looked last night," Kakashi explained and tilted his head down so his forehead rested against the teen's. "Remember? When you were shouting about deflowering?"

Kakashi would have to be a complete idiot not to feel the way Iruka was tensing up against him. All the jounin did in response was tighten his hold on the other and squeeze his hand. To anyone else, that probably would have been taken as a sign of reassurance.

Iruka took it as a warning.

_You can't push me away. I've immobilized one of your hands and now you're trapped._

It didn't matter whether or not Kakashi intended the action to have such a meaning; as a new chuunin, Iruka was supposed to look underneath the surface.

So Iruka wasn't all that surprised when he reacted to the words on instinct.

The instinctual reply, however, left them both jarred.

You see, Iruka's brain took Kakashi's words as a threat and acted accordingly by slamming itself into Kakashi's. Unfortunately, their skulls were in the way and met with a sickening crack.

Fortunately, however and depending on whom you asked, the action had both nin stumbling backwards and most importantly _not touching_.

"Shit Iruka! What the hell?" Kakashi exclaimed, cradling his head.

It was all for show. Mostly. He had expected such a reaction, after all. But damn, the chuunin could headbutt like none other.

Iruka was prepared to shoot back a scathing comment, but Kakashi's single visible eye seemed genuine… and hurt. Oh.

His scowl fell and was replaced by a guilty frown. Maybe Kakashi hadn't been threatening him…

_Of course he hadn't! _Iruka thought as he went over what had just happened in his mind. _Who threatens someone by holding them? Not like _that_ at least._

And that thought cemented the guilt.

"Guess I have to look underneath the underneath," Iruka muttered darkly. He waved his hand as if waving away that idea as Kakashi threw him a questioning look.

The jounin pushed his head band up so he could rub at his forehead, unwittingly spreading blood from a small cut.

_Oh no! His forehead protector had cut him! Damn it!_

"Come here," Iruka said, his voice subdued. He fished an antiseptic wipe from his medikit with one hand while the other tilted Kakashi's head to a more convenient angle. The man hissed as Iruka rubbed the wipe right over the cut - _Shouldn't he be used to worse than this?_ - making the chuunin feel more guilty.

"Sorry," Iruka muttered, staring down at the bloodied wipe for a moment before spreading a white paste over the cut. "That'll stop it from bleeding for now, otherwise-"

"I know." Kakashi's voice was low. He took the wipe from Iruka and stuffed it in his pocket. Iruka wasn't surprised. He wouldn't want someone else to have his blood either, even a fellow Konoha nin.

"I _am_ sorry, Kakashi," Iruka tried again, looking rather meek.

"Yea, I know," the jounin replied. His face brightened at little as he sent the other a small smile. "Take me to dinner to make it up to me?"

Iruka barely thought it over before nodding. As the two walked off, the chuunin leading the jounin to some unknown destination, Kakashi mentally thanked the one responsible for this new development.

_Now _I_ owe _Anko_ dinner. Never thought it'd work this well.

* * *

_

_Kakashi and Anko's conversation in the alley (right after Genma left)…_

"Forget about him," Anko said, turning back to the curiously staring Kakashi. "If you want to get Iruka _not _mad, you need to make him loose it."

Kakashi was by no means a stupid man, so it was a huge step for him to say, "Aaah, I don't think I'm following."

The kunoichi nodded in understanding.

"The thing you got to know about Iruka is he doesn't hold a grudge. He might be pissy right now, but that's only because you riled him. He feels challenged, I'll bet, and he can't get over it '_til _it's over, you know?"

That made some sense.

"So," Kakashi started, leveling Anko with a inquiring stare, "if I were to get him to really loose his cool, he'd get all nice again?"

"Yea. The best thing to do would be to make him hit you or something. Actually…"

Anko released Kakashi and scratched her head, looking thoughtful.

"If he draws blood, he'll sit you down after a few minutes and clean you up himself."

"He'll clean you up himself?"

The only person Kakashi knew who would do that - well, if they _meant_ to inflict pain and it wasn't just a byproduct of training - was Rin.

Iruka was getting more and more interesting as the days- er, day, went on.

"Yea, he's the maternal one of the group. I think it came after Risa- well, I think I should let Iruka explain that to you. It's his team, after all."

Again, Kakashi understood that. There were certain stories that couldn't be retold; it was just part of being a ninja.

"Anyway, you remember that and use it to your advantage and he'll forgive pretty much anything!"

* * *

AN: So, chapter three is finished. w00t. Something interesting that I just realized- I didn't intend the whole "If he draws blood" explanation to lead into him _actually _drawing blood. I wrote Anko and Kakashi's conversation almost six weeks ago. Then I wrote Iruka and Kakashi's scene a couple days ago and reread what Anko said. It fits together _too_ perfectly, I think. Oh well. I have chapter 4 written, but I think I'll wait a week to post it. Of course, I'll post it a lot sooner if I get lots and lots of reviews… Heck, I might post it as early as tomorrow if I get enough *wink wink, nudge nudge*

I think you all should know, I've been sitting on that kunai joke forever.


	4. Nothing Gotten, Nothing Gained

AN: Hey look! An update in only 2 days! Much love!

First off, you can thank Lucca-Ace for this update. I had decided once I got twenty reviews, I'd start working on chapter 4. And she (or is it he? Lucca-Ace, what is your gender!?) happened to be the twentieth reviewer. Lucca, can I call you Lucca?, you're turning out to be one of my fav reviewers (I do remember my reviewers, too, like siriuscandid who has reviewed every chapter of this and it's prequel, or icantremembersn, who I do not think sounded harsh in his (her?) first review and I sincerely appreciated the fact check. I like being called on my inconsistencies). I read each and every review.

Second, in case I don't get chapter 5 written in time, happy birthday Zackara! Just for you, I'm going to try and get it up by next Tuesday. If I don't, I'll post somethign else (oneshots are always easier than fifth chapters, I've found). So, is there anything else you'd like to read on your special day? (How old will you be, maybe I can tie that in :) )

Which reminds me, I do take requests. This entire story can be considered a request, considering Pieces was a oneshot until enough people begged (well, asked, but I like thinking of it as begging) for me to continue it.

* * *

They ended up at a ramen stand.

"Ichiraku?" Kakashi asked, ducking under the flaps of fabric hanging from the entry way.

"I like ramen," Iruka explained. "And since I, a mere 'baby chuunin,' as I've heard you jounin call us, am buying, I'm buying cheap."

Kakashi shrugged. He didn't really care one way or the other.

The baby chuunin remark did get a grin out of him, though.

After their orders were placed, they fell into an awkward silence, Iruka keeping a weak grin on his face and Kakashi looking thoughtful. Now that he had the chuunin next to him, calm and smiling, what did he do with him? Wryly, Kakashi realized this was just what his nin pups must have felt like when they finally managed to catch the mail cart.

_Come on, Hatake,_ He chastised himself mentally, _you're a ninja. A jounin! You can do this. Think ninja._

And that's when Kakashi realized what this was.

_A recon mission…_

He could do recons. Hell, this should be even easier because, theoretically, Iruka should _want_ to tell him things. They were practically on a date, and that's what you did on dates, right?

Just then, two bowls of noodles were placed before them. Kakashi barely hesitated before pulling down his mask. Despite kissing Iruka last night on the training grounds, he didn't often reveal his face in public.

_It's for the good of the mission_, he thought to himself, suddenly determined. _But where to start? What do people usually talk about on dates?_

Obito had liked talking about his clan. He had always been very proud of the fact that he was an Uchiha - something that completely escaped Kakashi, but he hardly had the market corned on good family relations.

Oh, what was it that Gai was always talking about?

_His team! _Kakashi remembered. _Most nin like talking about their teammates, as long as their not dead or defected. Genma and Anko didn't seem too dead, so that's probably a safe topic._

Besides, there was something Kakashi was wonder…

"So," Kakashi drawled, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, "Genma seems a bit old to be your teammate."

Iruka nodded, not caring in the least that he was slurping his noodles.

"Yea. Makes it hard sometimes, with how Anko likes to tease him. He can't tease back yet. Hell, once Genma was arrested and _he_ didn't even do anything. Can't go back to the stake house anymore, which is too bad because the cook _there_ would put up with damn near anything."

He'd have to ask about that later, but that wasn't the point now.

"What I meant was how'd you get such an old teammate? He has to be at least twenty."

"Twenty-three," Iruka corrected, stretching across the counter to wave down the waitress - a fourteen-year-old girl that vehemently claimed she was just making extra cash and _would not_ be working here much longer. Iruka liked her and thought she'd make a lovely waitress if she didn't spend such a long time ogling all the teen ninja that ate there.

Kakashi thought about this for a moment. Twenty-three and on a team with two sixteen-year-olds? A lot of things didn't add up about this team (though Kakashi supposed he didn't have much to go on, considering the only team he had ever had contact with had been his own…).

"Why would the Hokage place you on a team with him? He must have been a chuunin before you were even a genin."

"It's complicated." The teen looked mildly uncomfortable for a moment. "They aren't my original genin squad."

"I wasn't aware that they changed them after the fact."

Iruka shifted as the waitress brought his new bowl of ramen. This wasn't the place to discuss this.

"Look, I've never talk about this with someone that wasn't involved in the situation. So you can't make this any harder, okay?"

Kakashi gave Iruka a grin as if to say "would I do that?" while inwardly realizing, no, this was not a safe topic.

_At least he's still talking._

"It's not really much of a story," the chuunin muttered. "I was a genin for nearly six months when the Nine-Tails attacked. My original squad was made up the way they all are. We had a jounin teacher and there were three of us. Risa, the girl on our team, was the outgoing one. She always wanted harder missions. She was stronger than me and Hayate - the third genin in our squad - which was saying something because Hayate was already as strong as a chuunin."

Iruka sighed. It'd been a long time since he'd thought about Risa and Tosuke-sensei.

"When the village was under attack, Tosuke-sensei was one of the first to report to the front lines. She was always like that, very duty oriented."

He paused there and Kakashi made a point of looking down at his food as he took a bite, giving Iruka a moment to collect himself.

"She didn't last long." It was little more than a whisper when he finally said it. "Not many did. Risa couldn't believe it. She lost it and if Hayate had my help, I'd like to think we could have stopped her. But I was at the hospital, demanding to see my father. He'd died that morning."

Chocolate brown eyes stared at the Copy Nin and Kakashi felt compelled to return the look.

"She didn't even last the night.

"I'm not sure what happened immediately after that. A medic sedated me as I was too weak to even consider fighting and I was just wasting their time bothering them. Afterwards, though, the third told me that both my parents had died and so had my teacher and teammate. Hayate was fine, but it was just the two of us, hardly a genin squad. He took a special interest in the squads that had been dismantled.

"Anko was put on our team almost immediately. She'd just made chuunin a few weeks before the attack, but she'd been without a teacher for a couple years. She was our age and her temperament fit great with mine and Hayate's. Finding us a new teacher was harder. A lot of jounin had died and the hokage told us that we weren't top priority to get a new sensei. So he added another chuunin to the group. Genma isn't our teacher, but he was strong and could help us find our own strength."

Suddenly, Iruka grinned.

"Genma had it in his head that he _was_ our new teacher. He'd been trying to boss us around and be a general pain in the ass. As Hayate was nearly as strong as him and Anko's last teacher was insane, it didn't work very well."

"You guys seem friendly enough now," Kakashi pointed out, feeling like enough of the tension had lifted to join into the discussion.

"Aah." Iruka looked nervous all of a sudden. "That was because we decided to teach _him _a lesson. You know, about stealth and stamina and, um, rejuvenation?"

"Rejuvenation." Kakashi's voice couldn't have been more dry. "What the hell does that mean?"

"That means that the three of us took it upon ourselves to drive him bat-shit crazy. We put traps and pranks around his apartment, in his apartment, around our training spot. Basically wherever we knew civilians and other nin would be unlikely to run into them. We'd made up and memorized three different codes and each of us spoke in a different one. You know, nothing serious, just-"

"Hazing," Kakashi finished, grinning widely. "You hazed the hell out of him."

"Basically." Iruka's grin matched Kakashi's.

"How long did he last?"

"A few months. But it didn't end because he broke. We were sent on a C-rank mission. We got attacked by a group of missing nin on the way back, but Genma had burnt himself out. He always tried to impress us into respecting him. We realized that he couldn't fight them. Hayate and Anko spread out to fight so they couldn't be too surprised by them and I stayed with Genma to make sure they didn't take him out. We were able to fight them off and Anko killed one of them. That's when Genma realized he wasn't doing us any favors acting that way and when he started being less of an ass, we laid off."

"Less?" Kakashi felt the need to ask.

Iruka's grin shifted into a smirk.

"He's still an ass. Just… more bearable."

Of course. Because one didn't just stop being an ass because a group of preteens didn't like you.

"So, what happened with him at that stake house?"

"Not telling!" Iruka exclaimed happily, finishing off what he decided would be his last bowl for the night. "You want to hear that, you'll have to offer me a meal full of stories of _your _genin squad."

That brought about a scowl.

"You don't want to hear about my past."

"You don't know what I do and don't want to hear about and you won't get anymore stories about me or my past unless I get something from yours. Ball's in your court, Hatake."

"Oh? My court, huh?"

Iruka wasn't sure he liked how Kakashi was smirking.

"So, you'd come to dinner if I invited you? Say, tomorrow night at my place?"

"Not your place," Iruka said, voice polite but firm.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked, sounding a bit put out.

"We don't' do well in private places," Iruka countered. He ignored Kakashi's suggestive "I disagree," and continued. "I've decided you're not a complete ass-"

"Like Genma?"

"Yea, like Genma. Anyway, I've decided you're not a complete ass, so if you're going to insist on doing this, whatever the hell you're doing, then I'll let you for now. But in public."

"I didn't know you were that kind of person, Iruka," Kakashi said, faking surprise.

"Don't ruin it! I don't want to be jumped or molested, you hear? So I'll have dinner with you or chat or whatever, but only if you can prove you can behave yourself."

"That's not fair," grumbled the jounin, looking very much like a dog that had just been hit on the nose with a slipper.

"It's not fair that my friends won't stop talking about what we'll call the kids!" Iruka exclaimed. He looked sheepish when the man beside him choked on his noodles and lowered his voice to add, "They don't care that it doesn't make sense because it keeps getting laughs. Do you know how long it takes to get a group of sixteen year old boys to forget something like this? Especially with Anko thrown in to the mix? Kakashi, you've essentially ruined the next year of my life."

Kakashi rolled his eye at this.

"I didn't ruin your life you drama queen." Suddenly he grinned, the sort of grin that turned his eye into a happy little crescent and meant those around him would either A) be very excited about the news or - more likely - B) cause the one it was aimed at much emotional distress. "I've just made it more interesting. From the looks of things, you could deal with a bit of interesting."

He swooped in then, to steal a kiss. It was supposed to be quick, chaste even. Just to remind Iruka.

It was Iruka who opened his mouth, and really, what was Kakashi to do? He couldn't just ignore and out and out invitation like that, could he?

He didn't get a chance to deepen the kiss properly, though, because Iruka had already sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

_Ah, he's repeating himself, _Kakashi thought, amused.

He wasn't amused for long. Suddenly, his bottom lip erupted in pain and he jerked back in surprise. Well, he tried to, but Iruka still had his lip firmly between his teeth.

Gray bore into deep brown and a long moment passed until Iruka released Kakashi's lip. He licked the bite - a small apology - before breaking the kiss completely.

"You don't seem to be a masochist, Kakashi," he said, voice gentle. "So every time you do that from now on, that's how I'm going to respond. I'll bite or scratch or whatever will work to get you to get a grip, okay?"

Kakashi just barely kept himself from pouting.

"What if you want me to kiss you?" he asked, knowing he was grasping at straws.

He froze as lips met him in a firm kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before Iruka leaned back.

"If I want you to kiss me," he said, for some reason sounding breathless, "then I'll make it happen."


	5. Realizing the Blunder

AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACKARA! Now, I didn't write you a one shot also, mostly because I've been working so much on this story I don't think I could write a KakaIru oneshot (maybe an AU...). But I got this chapter finished for you, so happy birthday.

And, anonymous coward caught me. Now, don't go and read his/her review, I feel the need to respond. I was aware of that, anon. I just hoped no one else noticed ^_^' so… just go with it? I like my version better.

Speaking of that, Kakashi might seem a bit out of character. That can be explained by him being six years younger. That being said, I didn't really like this chapter until the end. Which reminds me, I'm looking for a beta. Anyone interested?

So, I've decided I think Obito was Mikoto's little brother. Would that be hard to believe? I mean, he was a pretty big cry baby and where do I often see big cry baby boys? Being protected by their big sisters. Of course, she's like, what, 13 years older than he was? Not too big of a difference, especially considering how low birth rates are in Naruto fanon.

And yes, this makes Mikoto and Fugaku related. But would anyone be surprised? I mean, the Uchiha were proud people. They don't want to share their clan with any more than necessary. And from the size of that compound, they've got plenty of relatives to choose from. Besides, I think Mikoto has extremely Uchiha features. Just compare her to the earlier Uchihas, like Izuna or Hikaku.

Let's get on with the story!

* * *

A week later found Kakashi once again hanging out in the mission's office.

At first, it had been acceptable, him being here. He legitimately had to turn in a report for once - the Hokage had actually ordered that he turn it in first thing once he'd returned as part of the mission.

It had been an intense mission, though, and he decided to wind down there and was currently sitting on the table (cross legged and very much in the way) between Mikoto Uchiha and Yoshino Nara, who both seemed to have mission's desk duties today.

The two were currently chatting between ninja who turned in reports or picked up missions. Kakashi, in turn, was pretending to be a statue. Not the most productive use of his time, but he had nothing better to do.

"Kakashi!"

Except paying attention to Mikoto, it seemed, who was glaring at him.

"Have you been listening at all?"

"Ah, no," he admitted, looking sheepish even if he didn't sound it.

Yoshino, from his other side, clucked her tongue.

"We're trying to give you sound advice, Hatake. We just don't like seeing you alone all the time. You're… eccentric, sure, but you're a good shinobi that deserves a good woman!"

He grinned, then, because he knew a few ways to respond to that that would have Yoshino screaming at him and Mikoto trying to stifle her chuckles. Then later she would scream at him too because she hated laughing at his perverted jokes in public.

Unfortunately, before he could choose the one that would get the largest reaction, someone else responded.

"A little late, I'm afraid, ladies."

It was the third Hokage, sitting beside Yoshino with a deadpan expression. Which, really, was understandable considering the discussion they'd had right before Kakashi left on his mission.

* * *

_Five days ago…_

As a member of ANBU, it wasn't uncommon for Kakashi to be called to the Hokage's office to receive a mission.

It _was _uncommon for the Hokage to throw a large tome at his face upon entering said office, however. So uncommon, Kakashi, with all his reflexes and training, did not block it. He did block the next two, though, and managed to volley the fourth one back.

"Sir!" Kakashi managed, grabbing the empty book case to his left and using it as a shield. Well, now he knew where the man had gotten his ammo, not that that had been an important question, but, whatever. "Sir! I appreciate a good book war, but I have to ask why you've decided to have one with me!"

"You live in a shinobi village, Kakashi! Did you really think I wouldn't find out!?"

Find out? Find out what? Kakashi couldn't think of anything he'd done recently that would account for Sarutobi to be throwing books at him. Well, it wasn't a very nin thing to do, but Kakashi supposed he could just ask.

"Find out what?"

A silence fell over the office. Kakashi wasn't going to look to make sure - that was how one got hit in the face a second time - but he was fairly certain the Hokage was standing behind his desk, one hand ready to throw another tome but a look that said he was weighing his options.

"Kakashi, you can't be serious. Surely you remember when you publicly molest someone."

Molest!? Who'd he molest!? He hadn't even touched someone, molestation or not, since he'd had dinner with… oh.

"Are you talking about Iruka?"

A book hit the shelf so hard that Kakashi knew he was going to have bruises forming in a few hours from where the shelves dug into him.

"Do you go around molesting so many chuunin you need to ask!?"

_Crazy old man._

"I didn't molest Iruka!" _Not in public at least…_ "I kissed him! And then he kissed me! If that's molestation, you need to start throwing books at him too!"

Not the best thing to say because the next one that hit - thankfully it was aimed a bit high - hit the wall with such force it exploded into a flurry of pages. It also left a deep gash in the wall. Oh, that would have been just _awesome_ to get hit by.

"If I come out, can we discuss this like men and not throw anything?" he asked, hopeful.

"That was the last one anyway."

Not the most reassuring answer, but at least the third couldn't change his mind about throwing more.

Cautiously, because Sarutobi still had ninja things to throw and Kakashi really didn't want to have to defend himself from kunai and shuriken, the jounin crept out from behind the bookshelf and approached the desk. He didn't sit down, though, as that would take too much time off a quick escape.

"Iruka tells me that it occurred while you two were on a date," the third said, taking his seat.

"Ah, yea, I guess you could call it that," Kakashi said, not sure if that was better than molesting Iruka in public.

"He says you went on another date last night."

"We met for dinner, yes."

"Are you dating Iruka, Kakashi?"

The situation was so ridiculous that Kakashi half wanted to laugh. The other half was realizing that, yes, indeed, that was what he was doing.

Shit. He was dating Iruka.

He pushed down the terror that thought brought up - Kakashi didn't think he was comfortable with what dating implied - and nodded.

Sarutobi stared at him, a calculating look in his eyes.

"You know that I've taken a special interest in Iruka since retaking this office."

That was the polite way to say Kyuubi attack as five years didn't seem long enough for some of the villagers.

"Yes, sir, I'm aware of that," Kakashi responded, fighting the urge to stand at attention. He needed his hands in front of him, not clasped behind him.

"I wasn't aware of Iruka's… preferences," Sarutobi finally said, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. "So this has all been a bit of a shock, yo umust realize. That being stated, if you're going to date him, you're going to date _just_ him, Kakashi. And you're going to treat him appropriately."

Kakashi wasn't sure what that meant, but knew it'd be stupid to disagree. He figured he'd find out if he wasn't doing as told.

"You hear me Kakashi?" The Hokage looked more serious than he had in a very long time. "If you're dating Iruka, that's who you're dating."

"Of course, Lord Hokage. Is that all?"

The third shook his head.

"I have a mission for you, too."

* * *

_Now…_

And that had been that.

He'd felt like he'd been talking to Iruka's father, which had been appropriate he guessed. Sarutobi acted as a father figure to many of the orphans from the attack. And it was Kakashi, who had been taught - and half raised - by the fourth. Who had been taught by Jiraiya, who had been taught by the third. That meant the third knew just what sort of pervert Kakashi should have grown up to be, because he was the one that had started it.

And now the crazy old man was outing him to Mikoto Uchiha. Damn it. That's the last thing he needed.

She was staring at him as if she'd never seen him before.

"You're seeing someone, Kakashi? Why haven't you told me!" She exclaimed, looking as if she was contemplating pushing him off the table.

He hated it when women used questions as accusations.

"I just started seeing him a week ago," Kakashi explained, hoping to avoid a lecture. Now that the Hokage was part of the conversation, he doubted he could get away with, well, getting away.

At least Gai was in Suna on a mission. _That_ was actually the last thing he needed.

Yoshino, for her part, only looked scandalized for a moment. Mikoto didn't seem surprised. In fact, she had an expression on that Kakashi didn't think was going to go over well for him.

"You're having trouble already," she finally said, sounding triumphant. "Well, tell us about it and we'll help."

Incredulous didn't begin to describe the look in Kakashi's eye. Unfortunately, Mikoto wasn't having it.

"Look, Kakashi, you're going to tell us not because we've spent the last hour and a half trying to impart our knowledge about the human female to you - which you ignored, I might add - but because you don't want me to impart my knowledge of you to anyone else."

"I am calling your bluff, madam," Kakashi drawled, leaning down so they were nose to nose, an easy expression on his face.

"Fine, yes, that was a bluff," she admitted, though she looked no less determined. "Maybe I don't have any information that's not already public knowledge, but I do have something you don't want getting out. A certain picture left to me by our dear Obito?"

Kakashi froze, his blood running cold. He knew Obito had another camera! Damn it!

He knew exactly what picture Mikoto had been talking about. And he couldn't let that see the light of day.

Seems he'd have to infiltrate the Uchiha compound once again. That was the life of the shinobi.

Until then, he'd placate her. He didn't think many people didn't know, anyway. The only reason these two didn't was probably because Yoshino, if Kakashi remembered from earlier in the conversation, had just returned from a recon mission and Mikoto, like all Uchiha, lived on the compound.

"Fine. I've been seeing Iruka Umino, a chuunin. We've gone on two dates. End of story."

Yoshino scoffed.

"That's hardly the end of the story. Come on, Hatake! Give us something to work with. How old is he? Have you kissed? What's he looked like? How'd the dates go?"

Kakashi rolled his eye.

"Sixteen. Three times. Brunette, shoulder length hair, commonly kept in a pony tail and brown eyes; dark skin, white clothes. They went fine."

This time the reaction was from the Hokage, who snorted in disbelief.

"That's not what Iruka told me," he informed the women, sounding as deadpan as he still looked. "He said the first one went over well enough, but the second one was awkward and he felt as if he wasn't welcome at the table the entire night."

This surprised Kakashi. Of course, he'd felt a tad awkward, but Iruka had looked content the whole meal, so he hadn't thought the teen had noticed.

"Kakashi, why didn't the second date go well?" Mikoto asked, voice gentle. It was the voice she used on her youngest, Sasuke, when he was upset. He'd play her game though. Dates not going well meant relationships not going well, and while he was terrified of the thought of having a relationship, he was also sure there was some reason he was attracted to the chuunin in the first place and wished to explore that. He hadn't been attracted to someone like this in a very long time.

And, sadly, Kakashi knew exactly why the date did not go well.

"The first time we went out together, Iruka told me about his genin team," Kakashi explained. The third nodded, knowing what story had been told, and the women just gave him an understanding look. They might not have known the story, but Yoshino had lost members of her team after becoming a chuunin and understood that that could be a touchy subject. Mikoto, as an Uchiha, hadn't been on a team but she had watched her little brother get close to his team.

"I asked him about something and he informed me that I wouldn't find out anything else about him until he learns something about my team."

All three of them "ahh"ed in understanding at this.

"So you spent the date not talking to him?" Yoshino asked.

The jounin nodded. He'd put a lot of thought into that date and forty-five minutes of silence wasn't that long, right?

"After we ordered, we just ate. I finished my meal before him and when he finished, he thanked me for taking him out and left."

"And you call that fine?" Mikoto's voice was anything but gentle now.

"He was smiling the whole time!" Kakashi insisted, not understanding the problem.

"And whenever you smile, you're happy?" asked Yoshino, an exasperated look on her face.

"Well, no." Kakashi admitted.

"Kakashi, is telling him about your genin team really that bad?" Mikoto asked. Her response was a silent glare. "Fine. Then don't tell him about the dismantling parts. Tell him about the good times. Maybe there was something fun you guys did together? Or maybe something funny that happened on a mission? Share that. One step at a time, lover boy. That's how non geniuses do it."

"Talk about good times?" Kakashi's voice betrayed the fact that he had never even considered such an option.

"Of course!" Yoshino exclaimed. "You shouldn't go into a second date talking about death and despair. You think that's how I got Shikaku? He didn't know anything bad about my life until we were already engaged and planning the wedding!"

Planning the wedding was a bit of a stretch here as the youngest Nara couple had gotten married the same way that most Konoha citizens did. They had simply made an appointment to see the Hokage, showed up in his office, and had him make everything official.

But this new plan of telling him the good things, the stuff that didn't make Kakashi hate himself or lament his past, that could work. In fact, it would probably make Iruka laugh…

The image of a laughing Iruka was far too appealing for Kakashi to let go of.

"Thanks, ladies. I just might try that."

With that, he bent down and kissed each of them on the cheek through his mask. For good measure, he leaned over and kissed the Hokage on the cheek also. And then he was gone.


End file.
